| So there I was, leaving work when I come up to this stop sign. I rolled down my windows and felt the cool warmth of the Dallas air in the center of my loins. I was concentrating on the delicate humming sound of the road, when a gust of wind made my handle bar mustache wiskers tingle with excitement of things to come. I reached up to pat my stach back into place, when I noticed a single peace of paper flying through the air with the current of the wind. I watched as it bellydanced through the intersection and then lightly deposited itself in my passenger seat face up. I moved my poo stick out of the way so I could get a better look. I picked it up, and read - "Z meetup of Dallas" Sept 25th at the Wiggly Piggly. Know if you now me, you now that I normally try to stay away from the Z meetups, due to the size of my extreme undying everlasting stockingly devoted fanbase. But as some of you know, I made a appearance last Sunday at the meetup. By the way, for those of you who are uninitiated, I drive a 1994 300ZX Twinturbo stage SGP with brand new carbon fiber light weight Door handle trim. But alass, I did join the fine people of Dallas in the meetup. There was a great turnout and I'd like to thank everyone for being so nice. The meet went almost fairly well for having so many people. Here's a rundown of the events that happened for those of you that were not able to join us. 4PM - Arrived at the Piggly and parked in the back of the lot. Kyle(Houston) was already there, rubbing massage oil on DallasDamenZ's back and inner thighs. I parked a few spots away from them, not wanting to take away from their "alone time". I went inside and waited a bit longer to see if anyone else would show. 5PM - A few more people had arrived, but not enough for me to announce myself yet. I went to the barbieque section, and opened a bag of coal. Started a fire in the display and cooked a generous cut of stake that i got from the meats dept. 5:30PM - After the fire alarms went off, I left the Wiggly Piggly completely of my own will, and not by the orders of anyone but myself. Once in the parking lot, I noticed there was a good turnout. There was about 25 Z's lined up. There was a crowd around my car with everyone wanting to take pictures and I could tell everyone was looking for me. As I've never made a public appearance at any of the previous meets, nobody knew what I looked like. I entered the meet, slowly stalking the crowd. 5:45PM - I walked up to a few people having a conversation about airplanes. I introduced myself as Alburt Longbottom in the midsentence of one of the conversatee's. Forcing myself into the conversation, and at the same time exserting my domionence. Later I would find out that Fred is the personal pilot for International superstar Joey from insync. BTW, Alburt Longbottom is just one of my many secret identities. 6:00PM - Noticed ashley powers, mark, and wolf were all sitting together in a hot tub that they had on display. I walked up to them to introduce myself, but before I could even get a word out, Mark looked up at me and stared into my eyes with his head slowly approaching a 45 degree angle and asked if I would like to join them in the hot tub. but as I got closer I slowly realized they were skinny dipping. Once that realization came into play, I slowly backed my way out of that situation. Know, if you now me, you now that I do not put up with skinny dipping in public. I felt my temprature rising and could feel my cockels vibrating. I had to do something to cool myself down. Luckily there was a Icecream shop next doors. 6:20PM - Walked into the icecream shop, ordered my usual Rocky Road and sat down at a booth next to the window and began to enjoy the icy delight that of which belongs to the flavoring of Rocky Road. 6:25PM - As I was digging in to my Rocky Road, I hear the all to familar noises of mishif outside. It started as some shouts, then some hollars, and then escalated into some screams. I closed my eyes, expecting to be attached by some manner of Ninja clan, or Viking hoard, when someone burst into the icecream show and yelled - "Billy B is fighting the Hondafuku Ninja clan! Now if you now anything about me, this is not something out of the ordinary, but learning that I am alread in a fight outside was a first. I look outside and see DallasDameonZ standing next to my car with at least 40 Ninja Warriors surrounding him. 6:26PM - DallasDameonZ was trying to fight off the group of Ninja, but not doing too well. I noticed he managed to take about 10 of the Ninja out with his wild windmill attach approach. But he had reached his limit, and you could tell that his stamina was dropping fast. 6:30PM - I step out of the Icecream shop and walk past the crowd of onlookers, I found a ninja straggler in the back of the pack that was about my size. I quickly disposed of his conchousness, and donned his Ninja suit. This way I could easily move within the Ninja crowd. Once I got to the middle of the commotion, I see DallasDameonZ struggling to get out of a sloppy full nelson. I quickly removed the disguise and scanned the Ninja's eyes as they all realized they have been attaching the wrong person. I pulled out my keychain, and pressed a few buttons, and my Z went into battle mode. I stood still waiting for the honduku clan to make the first move. The first wave of attach came from the Northeast. A group of 4 rushed at me, but they were not expecting me meeting them half way. With my poo stick. My Z shot out the poo stick via a GPS locater that was sergically implanted in my right hand. The timing was perfect. Time seemed to slow down at the exact moment I unleashed the poo stick on the upper lips of my attackers. I had to abandon the poo stick after a few more attacks due to...you know...the lack of poo. It's so hard these days to keep a good supply due to the recent poo shortages. 6:45PM - Made a calendar appointment for the Dallas Zoo to get a refill. Proceeded to destroy the remaining Ninja with my can of whoopass. 6:46PM - By this time, I am running through my normal Turkish Uncle fighting style, dishing out a variety of Jump snap mule kicks, and the occasional Face Knawing. (only to those who I have not wiped poo on) By the time I had crushed the Ninja uprising, I walked back over to my car, and deposited the empty poo stick back in the poo launcher, I helped DallasDaemonZ back to his feet and gave him a stern but fair warning that he is to in no way, ever try to impersonate the great Billy B. I explained that it might sound like a good idea at the time, because of all of the beautiful women throwing themselfs at you, but it comes with a down side too. The constant attacks by the Ninja, Riceburner crowd, and the occasional group of Interprative Ice scaters. 6:55PM - I walk back into the icecream shop and look down at my melted rocky road icecream. I look back up out of the window and see the 40 Ninja's still laying in pain. I fight off the idea of going back out there again and popping the can again because they caused my icecream to melt. The icecream barista must have realized my anger brewing, and gave me a free scoop. dallasdeomon z, kyle and fred walked in, and all ordered rocky road. I noticed Kyle taking very small bites, and he kept looking at the front counter. I could feel his need for pink sherbert, but he was embarressed to buy the sherbert in front of me again. I noticed his hands had pinkish stains on them. I looked Kyle in his one good eye, and told him that DallasDameonZ loves him for who he is, and not because he tries to fit in with the crowd. 7:00PM - Kyle stands up and buys pink sherbet. 7:01PM - I get a call from Burt Reynolds asking me what kind of mushache shaver I use. He offers to fly me to his vacation home in Hawaii for private lessons for him. And that was the day for me. I'm not sure how anyone else's day went, but it was a pretty normal day for me. I'm staying in Burts mansion while he rents a room at the holiday inn. His internet is kinda crappy so I might not be able to check back in until I get back to the states.
This has been another update from the Real Life Adventures of Billy B.
BTW,
Anyone who was at the meet and does not remember the events taking place exactly as stated above will be put on my newly created Billy B. Terrorist watch list.
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22:04:51 09/28/11
